Writer's Block - Too many, too much- by Bushra Hassan

Recently I had the good fortune of staying at the PC Bhurban Hotel with my little family. I say good fortune because I always thought it to be one of those high priced places which we would never be able to afford. However, there I was, one busy weekend, spending a cozy holiday in the hills. Now I knew it would be crowded over there and I hate crowds. I hate going to markets, I avoid Sales like the plague, simply to avoid crowds. Mostly our holidays are based in small cottage-type hotels or relatively cheaper and less popular local places so we can have privacy and space. Here, in Bhurban, I was warned that it would not be the case, and how true that was!!
Hordes of people; and up to 4-6 children, per couple. Yes! I’m not kidding. We actually counted. These are the affluent people of this country, who produce children like I produce blog updates…. Quick, random and with scary regularity. So here we were, our family of three, fighting for life at the breakfast buffets as fat mummies regularly elbowed my husband out of the way, children crazily gluttonned to their hearts content, and the daddies walked around with the arrogance that even Hashwani wouldn’t show. At first I was appalled, later scared.

You see, it’s not the lack of manners, or tarbiyat the scares me. It’s not that these people look you up and down as if you are trespassing, or that they treat hotel employees like 19th century Texan slaves; it is not that the kids run rampant in hallways at midnight; or that the husbands rarely talk to their wives, help with the kids or even smile. It is just the twenty years from now these kids will be soul of Pakistan.

Not just that they are 4-5 kids per family. In two decades, they are all going to marry and reproduce and perhaps produce as many off springs. Where will we find space and resources to build them houses, give them clean water, sanitation? How many more trees will be cut down? Will our ill managed agricultural land produce enough grain for them? Will our exports reduce and imports increased? Will we fall deeper into debt? Do we have enough schools to educate and not simply train these kids? Will we have enough jobs for them? What will happen when they all have families and no jobs? What happens when the kids with a sense of superiority, lack of discipline or respect for all those around them, grow up and get disappointed? Angry? Frustrated? Out on the streets?

"You see, it’s not the lack of manners, or tarbiyat the scares me. It’s not that these people look you up and down as if you are trespassing, or that they treat hotel employees like 19th century Texan slaves; it is not that the kids run rampant in hallways at midnight; or that the husbands rarely talk to their wives, help with the kids or even smile. It is just the twenty years from now these kids will be soul of
Pakistan."

I usually write positive blogs. I try. I see a positive light in everything, but in this era of economic recession, climate change and wars, we are producing children that we do not know how to raise. The boys learn from the fathers to not help or respect women; women learn from their mothers to not respect other women, and lust after men. The basic structure of family is fragile and unhappy.

I will probably go and stay in Bhurban again. A mother of an asthmatic child, I need a centrally heated hotel in winters. Plus, I was impressed by the patience of the overwhelmed staff and the services of the hotel, but then I also saw a bit of Pakistan and that scares me.

I wish people had less children. I wish people knew how to be a couple before they became parents. I wish we knew the art of parenting. I wish our concept of purdah was not cover your head and stay indoors, but as my beloved Ghamidi put it, simple social etiquette.

I am worried for my rather well behaved child who at less than three can wait for her turn, can understand the difference between right and wrong… and then choose right, who says please and thank you, smiles at strangers, has a thirst for knowledge and mostly, is comfortable enough in her own skin to not judge others. How will she compare to the jungle that is becoming this nation? When she interacts with them, will she not be influenced? I wish the whole country was like my three year old is today. Mostly, I pray my country can sustain all the illiterate or ill brought up mass that is upon it… and that keeps growing.

I can only pray and vow not to be like the rest of them.

May Allah help us all.
Photo courtesy: http://www.panric.com/pakistans-public-train-system/

Writer's Block - Need I say more - by Bushra Hassan

For many months now, I have been writing blogs that emphasize on the essential goodness that is inside us Pakistanis. It is difficult to see some times, it is easy to take for granted... it is even easier to forget as we strive for sanity. This time my blog entry will not be my words, but that of a fellow Pakistani... I read him in DAWN yesterday... Letters to the Editor. I urge you to take a minute and read this:

Incident that changed my approach to life

IF we look around us, we will find a lot of goodness in our people. I saw this on Dec 28 when my confidence in our fellow beings and in the kindness of Almighty Allah was reinforced. That morning my wife was returning to Karachi from Faisalabad by Millat train accompanied by our two daughters, aged three and five years. I went to the station to receive my family but couldn’t find them. After a while I was shocked to see my elder girl standing by herself in a train compartment without her mother. There were some fellow passengers and a responsible policeman, Abdul Razzak, waiting with her. They broke the horrible news to me that my younger daughter accidentally fell off the train near Dhabeji station. My wife along with 20 to 25 fellow passengers managed to have the train stopped a kilometre or two from the spot where the child had fallen. They disembarked there to search for the missing child. In her panic, my wife forgot to carry her cellphone with her and so couldn’t contact me. The local people also joined the search party. My wife later recounted that the people — all strangers — were extremely sympathetic, helpful and concerned while searching for the child who had wandered off four kilometres into the woodland. It was after four hours that a young Pakhtun boy (could not obtain his details — May Allah reward him for his goodness) spotted Zainab and fetched her unhurt. When I met my little girl after these hours of high drama, she simply uttered these words: “Papa I was alone.” I just have no words to thank these men and women — strangers to me before this event brought us together — who shared those tense moments with us. By actively assisting in the search for our child, these noble souls displayed that spirit of humanity that holds mankind together. May Allah bless them and also my family — my father, brothers and my wife — who stood behind me giving me immense moral support in those testing hours. People have the capacity to organise themselves on the spur of the moment when faced with an emergency and respond positively. Take the case of Mr Jamil who disembarked with my wife, leaving his own family behind on the train, to take the responsibility of organising the search. There was Mr Asif who took the responsibility of communicating with the railway authorities, the Edhi Centre and the police. Generally, we tend to take for granted our family and our fellow beings. But we should learn to appreciate the goodness of the human heart that prompts people to respond to others in distress. Such is the spirit that can, if mobilised, help steer the country out of its troubles. The more I see of it, the more I feel vindicated in my decision to stay back in Pakistan and serve it as a part of the SIUT team that is doing such good work by holding up a candle of hope for people who are so desperately ill.
DR NASIR HASAN LUCK
Sindh Institute of Urology & Transplantation Karachi

Courtesy: DAWN.com; 3rd Jan 2010; Letters to the Editor
http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/the-newspaper/letters-to-the-editor/incident-that-changed-my-approach-to-life-310